Itunes Top 50, 3/19/2007 50-45

(Ok we're doing this again. Why? Why not. We took out clean versions of songs already on the list, and removed stuff we've already written about)

46. Year 3000 Jonas Brothers

TKG: I listened to this and instantly deduced that the Jonas Brothers were a fake band from a Nickelodeon show. Something like a cross between " California Dreams" and "The Monkees". Turns out they're some type of Christian rock band that records theme songs for Nickelodeon and Disney. This is a song about a time machine. They go into the future. They're a Christian band so they need to avoid the issue of going back in time and getting into all the issues around the actual age of the planet and what not. Perfectly fine bubblegum.

PAS: I don't think a song about the future fits the ideology either. Year 3000? Wouldn't Jesus have raptured up the believers by then?

47. Throw Some D's (Remix) Rich Boy featuring Nelly, Jim Jones, Andre 3000, The Game & Murphy Lee

PAS: During the last set of tracks we reviewed, I talked about most big Southern rap hits only being good when they get good rappers on the remix. Here the remix actually charts, and it does kick the ass of the original. This isn't really an All-Star line up, honestly Jim Jones, Murphy Lee and The Game are the kind of guys who need someone to save their track, not track saviours. Still this does have Andre 3000 who has inexplicably has become a mix tape superstar. You wouldn't expect a guy who has really made his name doing experimental fake Prince, showing up on songs like this and Walk it Out and just killing it. "Ha ha sleep/ Tylenol PM if I pull it/ she-she-sheep/ Count them for the rest of your life/ Your partner got away but he vegetable like/ So I sent his mom and dad a whole case of V8/ He could die any second how long it going to take." What the fuck, when did that blouse wearing motherfucker become Scarface.?

TKG: Andre 3000 is Killer as guy on remixes. The amusing thing is he's always put on first, which is ridiculous. Jerry Lee Lewis always headlined shows because no one goes on after the Killer. Killer kills them and no one looks good going on after him. They have semi solved this problem by constantly pairing Andre 3000 with Jim Jones, as Jim Jones really isn't even a warm up act. He's kind of the hype man for the warm up act. Jim Jones acts as sorbet, cleans the palate and then the next actual rapper comes in with a clean slate.

48. Survivalism Nine Inch Nails

PAS: When I saw that Nine Inch Nails had a song on this list, I checked to make sure it was a new song and not just something played in a commercial for Hills Have Eyes 2, thus making on the list via the "the Michael Andrews' Mad World music as auxiliary product effect." That isn't it though, this is the single from the new Nine Inch Nails album. Apparently this album is being virally marketed via an internet alternate reality game based on the internet, apparently the album describes an "Orwellian picture of the United States circa the year 2022," Man the only thing more dated then this shitty music, is the idea of a virally marketed album based on a dystopian future world. How stuck in the 90's is Trent Reznor?

TKG: Wait so this isn't aimed at nostalgic old NIN fans but rather he's trying to pick up a new generation of todays disaffected youth? I mean damn does this sound dated? I went to see Einsturzende Neubauten when I was in high school. Those guys had been around for over a decade at that point but they still felt relevant and like they were growing and developing. This just feels dated, not even angry just dated. Sounds a lot like that shitty Butthole Surfers/Kid Rock collaboration...except I think Trent isn't doing this as a joke. Rob Zombie is making amusing country duet albums to support his horror pics, I'm sure Al Jourgensen is doing experimental swing band albums, and the Genitorturers are all involved in Renaissance chorales...It's time to grow up.

49. Hips Don't Lie (featuring Wyclef Jean) Shakira

TKG: Wow this tune has been around for ages. Old enough that I'm pretty sure I've been out with at least one girl who had it as a ring tone. It came out around the same time as The Pussycat Dolls tune with Will I Am. Or maybe around the same time as the Pussycat Dolls tune with Wyclef. Either way between Wyclef and Will I Am, it was this really weird period in pop music, where your girly pop tunes had guest verses by innocuous male West Indians. Geoffrey Holder from the 7-Up the Uncola commercials was a more menacing West Indian. What the hell is the idea behind filling pop tunes with non-threatening West Indians? Some Mid-American girl is gonna get the wrong impression and think she can ask any guy from Guyana to jump up and dance.

PAS: I clearly haven't listen to much Shakira before because I never noticed the weird vibrato that she does with her voice. It makes her sound kind of like an Alt-Country singer. I imagine if the New Pornographers got huge, five years from now Neko Case would be doing shitty Wyclef duets too.

50. Pain-Three Days Grace

PAS: Wow, this song totally blew me away. We had to check to see if this was a real band or a parody. It really had the feel of GOB from Arrested Development fronted a depressed metal band. Lyrics like "Anger and agony/are better then misery" can't be meant literally.

TKG: I was laughing so hard during large chunks of this that I'm sure I missed half of it. But yeah this really felt like a parody. Half the lyrics sounded just like a Steve Allen parody. If Steve Allen hated Brecht as much as he hated Rock N Roll... Then there were a couple verses that really sounded like someone stole some lines from a shitty fake Luke/Too Short "tossing game in order to recruit a new ho" pimp rap and grafted it onto a metal ballad. "I'll take you by the head and show you a world you can understand/ this life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work/ trust me and take my hand/ when the lights go out you'll understand". But I don't think this is a song about finding goth girls and turning them out.